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Mango Mussolini and The Basket of Snowflakes

When I woke up this morning, I was looking forward to getting into work and taking care of business. Well, at least that was the plan until I decided to check my email like a dumb ass. Turns out some of you weren’t exactly happy about me taking shots at the Annoying Orange a few days ago. Now, I don’t mind being called a snowflake. I am not so weak minded that a comparison to frozen water will ruin my day. That being said, when you tell me that “my kind” is responsible for the hatred taking place right now, it leaves me wondering just what the fuck you lace your Wheaties with. I’m going to assume that by “my kind” you mean liberals. This is hilarious for two reasons. 1. I am not a liberal. I am an anarchist. I never had a horse in this election. The only thing I had to lose, was more respect for the American people. 2. I covered the 2008 Presidential Election. This hatred was stoked by Sarah Palin after she was tabbed to be the VP by McCain. Now I understand that some of you have the attention span of a wildebeest, so I am going to remind you what happened in 2008.

The year was 2008, the setting was Jacksonville, Florida. Sarah Palin had recently been tabbed by John McCain to be his VP running mate. Up to this point, the election had been rough but typical. That all changed in Jacksonville. Sarah Palin got up on stage, and flat out said that their opponent Barack Obama was a muslim terrorist. What had been a respectful crowd at the start, had turned into a pack of wolves by the end.  An intern from ( i think it was) The Tennessean and I left the venue afterwards, just in time to see a group of McCain supporters throw a glass bottle at an old man across the street who had an Obama pin on his shirt.  Said Intern and I looked at each other in stunned silence. Up until that point, McCain rallies had been extremely peaceful. Sure, there was the booing and what not whenever Obama’s name was mentioned, but now, after one Sarah Palin rally, we were hearing things like “He needs to be shot for treason” and “Once a Nigger always a nigger.” With one 45 minute speech, Sarah Palin turned the campaign on it’s head. As the days went on, the crowd frenzy kept building until finally John McCain himself had to come out numerous times and tell his supporters that what they were doing was wrong. That was in 2008. It started to rise up again in 2012, but Mitt Romney cut it off before things got to the point they did in ’08. Fast forward to 2016 and Donald Trump comes along, takes that anger, douses it in fucking gasoline, and drops a match on it. So to sit here and blame liberals for this is an act of utter fucking retardation.

My company gets the majority of it’s employees from the University of Michigan student base. I asked my co-worker Greg, what campus was like post election. He informed me that he stopped going to the one class he had on center campus. When I asked why, he told me that it was because people had gone crazy. ” A friend of mine had her hijab ripped off and told to go back to where she came from. It’s funny, because she was born in Michigan.” I asked him if he had reported it to anyone. “And put a bigger target on my back? No thanks. Things are crazy enough as they are.” So, Greg reads his class book, gets notes from friends, and stays far the fuck away from center campus.

When I see incidents like this show up in the news, I see a ton of Trump supporters show up and drop stupid comments like “Aww it looks like the little snowflakes need a safe space.” Ironic considering their savior just called for theaters to be one after his VP got booed. The thing I find funny about this, is that a few months ago, Hillary Clinton came out and said “Half his support base are a basket of deplorables.” Guess who went all snowflake for the next 3 months? See, it’s not that I have a problem with people being called snowflakes, it’s that I have a problem when a bunch of assholes go all hypocritical. Trump supporters cry when they get called racist, they cry when they get called deplorables, they cry when people refer to their candidate as Cheeto Jesus, but let someone say they are afraid because they are faced with racial hostility? Suddenly, it’s “suck it up snowflake.” Trump supporters mirror their spray tanned candidate. They are bullies who don’t quite understand how fucking retarded they look to the rest of the country not too mention the world.

The thing I’ve learned about bullies, is that if you fight back, they show their true colors. You motherfuckers may have been emboldened by this campaign, but it’s going to be people like me that drive you back to whatever deplorable holes you fucking came out of. I’ve spent the last 8 years taking Obama and his supporters to the woodshed. Now it’s your turn, only this time around it’s personal. I will not normalize this, I will not marginalize this, I will not let this orange freak of a man empower the worst this country has to offer. You stood by a racist, a misogynist, and a man who treated his campaign events like it was 1933 Neuremberg, Germany. You do not get to sit back and wash that blood off your hands. You are going to own that shit for the next 4-8 years, and I’ll be around to make sure you do.

Welcome to Planet Motherfucker

Greetings, Bastards!  It is I, your dutiful scribe and all around general nuisance. One day after lamenting my lack of anger  at recent events, I have risen from the tomb of apathy. I’ve been flipping through my rolodex of douchebags and wondering which Roman ass I should kick first. Given how the last 9 days have played out, I think that first ass will belong to our new Oompa-Loompa Elect, Donald J. Trump. Anyone that has followed anything we have done as The Bastards knows full well how hard I was on Barack Obama. Well, strap in Trump supporters, because from now on, Donald J is going to be front and center. If you think I’m going to give him a break because he’s an “outsider” and “Anti-establishment”, you don’t know me very well. If anything, I’m going to hold him to ridiculous standards. Why? Because he’s an asshole. Think about this: We knew what we were getting with Obama. Just another smooth talking wiindigo (thanks Steve) asshole who would continue the worst of the Bush policies and continue bombing the Middle East because why the fuck not. Orange Julius Caesar on the other hand…this motherfucker comes out of Reality TV Land boasting that he’s the greatest and the best. Only he can solve the problems and only he knows what those solutions are. The Greatest Man the Universe has ever seen has promised to be a President for ALL Americans of ALL races/creeds/genders. He then tabs the most anti-gay politician in the country to be his Vice President, he throws Stephen Bannon, a man who the KKK has called the voice of the Alt Right, as his Chief Strategist, tabs THE HEAD OF THE REPUBLICAN COMMITTEE as his Chief of Staff, and has currently interviewed Ted Cruz, Rudy Giuliani, Nikki Haley, and Mitt Romney for cabinet positions. Really? If that is what being Anti-Establishment is all about, someone needs to do some ass kicking at Webster’s because they have the definition wrong.

All campaign long we had to listen to the human version of the Annoying Orange talk about how a Trump Presidency would mean that trying to find an establishment politician in DC would be akin to a real life game of Where’s Waldo. Remember that? The whole Drain the Swamp tag line? How’s this for Drain the Swamp…yesterday, Figurehead in Chief  Trump met with…Henry Kissinger. How much more establishment can you get?? If Nixon was Darth Vader, Kissinger was the fucking Emperor. That’s like me saying “I refuse to deal with Christians” and then having lunch with the Pope. I realize a lot of you voted for Trump because he tapped into that vein of anger that has been boiling through you for the last 8 years, but you just got played. You have been Okie doked, bamboozled, taken for a ride, I could go on for days. Need more proof? Here’s who your savior is trying to get for Secretary of Treasury: Jamie Dimon. Remember him? CEO at Wells Fargo when shit hit the fan? Now currently head of JP Morgan? You know…a FUCKING ESTABLISHMENT GUY! How long did Trump talk about the corrupt ways of Hillary Clinton? Every 30 seconds or so? She couldn’t be president because she and her foundation were corrupt and paid for by bankers. Now Trump wants to put a corrupt banker in as Treasury Secretary? Really? How the fuck did you people not see through this?

When history looks back at 2016 they will say two things. 1. 2016 was the year that White Nationalists were given a voice in the White House. 2. 2016 was the year that the American People got P.T. Barnumed by a turkey dog in a thousand dollar suit. Now, the thing that cracks me up to no end, are his staunchest supporters who see this not as a backtrack on campaign promises, but as a sign that Donald Trump is willing to work with others to make the country great again. That would be commendable…if he didn’t spend 18 goddamn months talking about draining the swamp and wiping out the establishment. Now you can sit there and say…”You know, CJ, he could be an amazing president.” Yes, he could. I doubt it, but stranger things have happened. That being said, he was elected because he promised to drive the rats out of the village. The days of corruption and Banker rule in DC would be over. Now he’s filling his cabinet with them. All election long I heard “His words don’t matter, watch his actions.” I have been watching closely, and so far he’s done nothing but backtrack and do the exact opposite of what he ran on. Which, given the shit that has bubbled to the surface because of his campaign, is worse than if he had run like a normal politician.

Welcome to Planet Motherfucker, Trump supporters. It’s going to be a long four years, but at least you won’t be alone in your bitter disappointment.

Where Are We Going From Here?

“We’re all on this road, with miles to go
Braving new pathways into the unknown
But who do you ask, when no one really knows
Where we are going from here…” -Blackmore’s Night

The last few pieces I’ve written for this particular outlet have been markedly different in tone than the rest. I’m used to sitting down after a glass of rum, turning up the metal, and wandering the expository landscape like some drunken, slightly fatter, version of Hunter S. Thompson. My points were clear but also ridiculously sarcastic with a hint of serious anger behind them. The last few weeks, I have found myself unable to muster the anger needed to navigate said landscape. For the first time since my twelve rounder with kidney cancer, my soul is weary.

For the last 18 months I’ve watched friends and family split over an election that is without a doubt, the most incendiary I have ever seen, and this comes from a guy that covered Sarah Palin’s Funhouse of Fuckery back in ’08. I have watched people I’ve known most of my life, turn into hate filled caricatures of themselves, driven by an anger that has been stoked for the last 16 years. We find ourselves now in a post election America that doesn’t make any sense. Not because a non politician “outsider” won the election, but because of the shit that has risen to the top of the pond in the process.

Over the last week, I have watched Trump supporters relentlessly mock minority members who admit being afraid of what a Trump presidency might mean for them. As the two of you who actually read my nonsense know, I am not a fan of safe spaces. At least, not the way they are used on college campuses today. That being said, when a man who has dredged up anger as well as the white nationalists wins a Presidential election, it seems fair that certain groups would have some trepidation. This would be the time for Trump supporters to say “Hey, it’ll be okay, we’re in this together.” Instead they are taking those very real fears and amping them up to a thousand.

When I came out as bi a few days ago, it was to let some of my angry Trump supporting friends/family know that I was part of the groups they were threatening. I thought maybe it might give them pause, a chance to step back and think about the anger that’s been swirling around us for so goddamn long. Instead, it made them angrier. How dare a member of their family/inner circle disgrace them like that. I got a message the other day from someone I’ve known for years telling me that he’s going to enjoy it when “your kind no longer disgraces our republic.” I don’t have the fears many in the minority community have. If someone wants to step up and swing, I will make my ancestors proud. A lot of others don’t have that mindset though. They fear going out alone because people have become much more vocal now. This election has emboldened them and they take every opportunity to show it. What does it say about a society that mocks people who have a legit fear? What does it say about a society that shrugs off a man telling muslim children that their parents are going to be killed for being terrorists? What does it say about a society that trades compassion and empathy for anger and violence?

The hatred and violence on both sides has threatened to tear this country apart, and if we don’t check ourselves, it will do just that. I don’t expect everyone to suddenly be peace, love, and happiness, but we have to find a way to be a bit more civil. We have to find a way to take this from a full boil to a simmer. Most importantly, we have to stick up for each other. If I saw a Trump supporter being threatened, I would jump in, just the way I would for anyone else. Difference of opinion is a beautiful thing in this country. Hatred and violence on the other hand, are not. Instead of asking “What side are you on” or “How could you vote for that”, the question that needs to be answered is this: Where are we going from here? Pandora’s box has been opened. What’s been done is done. The only thing that remains is trying to move forward without normalizing the hate while at the same time not denigrating each other. I don’t know how that will be achieved, maybe it’s now considered Utopian thinking and thus impossible. All I know is that my soul is tired and my heart is heavy, but I still have enough in the tank to love, and as The Beatles said in the summer of ’67…all you need is love.

When they go low…

I was in 8th grade (military school) when I first noticed that I was different. That something was just a little off. Not in a bad way, just in general. I had found myself in the middle of two different grade school crushes. One was a girl over in Alpha Company. Her name was Rochelle and she had the most amazing set of eyes I had ever seen. The second was my Company Commander Jeremy. One night, after making the rather unfortunate decision to confide in someone I thought had my back, four kids came into my room after lights out. They held me down while the “leader” of the group yanked my shorts down and shoved a knitting needle inside me. As they left, one of them called me a faggot and punched me in the face. From that moment until this second, I swore I’d never make mention of being bi ever again. Sure, a few people knew, people that I trusted beyond understanding, but my family…the majority of my friends…never knew.

Now, I understand there may be some question as to why I’m bringing this up now. The reason is simple. For years I’ve watched my LGBT brothers and sisters deal with harassment and physical abuse while I sat behind my mask of cowardice. Always speaking up just enough to have my voice heard, but not enough to draw attention to myself. I watched as a friend was disowned by her own family. I wanted desperately to let her know why I understood her pain. Then I’d think of that night at military school. The shame and guilt would creep in, and I would bite my tongue.

On Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning, the 2016 Presidential election came to a close. It was an election that thrived on hatred and ignorance (on both sides). I’ve seen the stories over the last 72 hours. I saw the guy who was hit in the face with a bottle after leaving a gay bar. I’ve seen the graffiti and the notes reminding gay couples that their time of wedded bliss is at an end. There comes a time when even the thorniest crown of shame is not enough to keep one silent. I’ve made mistakes and turned my back on people that needed support. I hid in the shadows of cowardice and convinced myself that if I tried hard enough, I could justify it. Those days are over.

As much as many want to lay it solely at his feet, this isn’t exclusively a Trump issue. It existed long before he took his show on the road. That being said, this election emboldened the worst this country has to offer. They no longer take subtle shots or move in the cover of darkness. They have owned their hatred 100% and they no longer hide it. Now, before you get me wrong here, I am not putting this solely on Trump supporters. There are a lot of good people that voted for Trump out of frustration born from a system that has failed us all time and time again. No, these are people that were evil long before Mr. Trump arrived. The only difference, is that his success gave them validation. The same can be said for a certain sect of Hillary supporters as well. This isn’t a political party issue (though the lines are often blurred) this is an issue of human decency, or a lack of.

Michelle Obama said a few weeks ago “When they go low, we go high.” A few weeks ago, that might have been sound advice, but the landscape has changed since that day. There is a palpable anger in the air now and everyone is looking for someone else to blame. Be it African Americans, Hispanics, Muslims, Asians, LGBT’s, Democrats, or Republicans. Hatred is not going to be what helps us move forward from this, but neither is the tolerance of it. Fundamentalism is a very dangerous thing, regardless of whether it’s political, religious, or societal. Allowing it to breed at the speed it is currently at, is in the best interest of no one.

The time for silence is over. The time of selfish cowardice is over. We can not stand by and watch as the fringe elements of our society light their match and do their best to torch the very things that make this country great. Difference of opinion is a sacred thing here. It allows for productive and civil discussions on ways to make this country and our society better for everyone. Hatred and violence, on the other hand, is not. So when the fringe goes low, we can’t excuse it, and we can’t allow it.

The Dick Pic Must Die

The woman across from me sighs before quietly continuing. “Being a woman in today’s world can be terrifying.” She looks at me with truly tired eyes, and for the first time since we started talking, I understand just how serious this issue is.

The issue, of course, is the treatment of women in society. The woman in question, is a dear friend of mine. This particular issue came to light when I asked her thoughts about Donald Trump’s claim that “Locker room talk is harmless.” She sighed and opened up the Facebook app on her phone. She opened her messages and showed me message after message containing unwanted penis pictures and “locker room talk”. One of them said “I wanted to bend you over your car this morning.” “Is he a friend?”  I asked. She sighed again. “He’s one of the mechanics at the shop I dropped my car off with this morning. I’ve never talked to him in my life.” Another came from a married man who also happened to be her real estate agent. In one text he gave her the price of a rental house and then asked for a handjob in return. When she responded with a resounding no, he countered with a text begging to be her sugar daddy so they could have sex. This one went unanswered for 3-4 messages until he got angry. At this point I started feeling sick to my stomach. “Does this happen a lot?” I asked. She let out a little laugh. “It happens all the time.” To say I was shocked would be an understatement. In all my years on this planet, the thought of sending an unwanted, uninvited, dick pic to a woman never crossed my mind. “Jesus, why would someone do that?” She raised her eyebrows in response and laughed again. “CJ,  Do you realize that if men did this in public, they’d be arrested?” She was right. Suddenly, a whole new mess of questions started swirling around in my head. Why do men do this? Why do they react violently when rejected? More importantly, why the fuck do we allow it?

That night, curiosity got the best of me. I sent a message out to some of my female friends and asked if they would be willing to talk to me. The stories I heard/read, were at best, horrifying. One friend received a dick pic accompanied by the words “can you handle it”? When I inquired as to the identity of the sender, she replied “No idea. I just get random guys sending me shit like this on a weekly basis.” She showed me another from the friend of a friend who she had met briefly for 30 seconds. This one read “remember me? I met you the other day at (redacted) house. I thought you had amazing tits.” I asked her how it made her feel. “Like my sense of worth has dropped. This guy has no idea who I am as a person. All he saw were tits and that was it.”

Another friend showed me a picture of a dick she was sent. She responded by saying she didn’t appreciate him sending it. He replied with “you don’t have to be a bitch about it.” She let out an unpleasant laugh. “He sends me an unwanted picture, but I’m the bitch.” I reached out to give her a hug and she instinctively flinched. After I apologized to her, she went on to explain that her near constant experiences both online and in public left her extremely distrustful of men. Even the men she knows. The next morning I sent a message to the friend introduced in the beginning of this piece. I asked her if I could do a formal interview with her. I was beginning to feel like a stranger in a strange land and wanted some clarity, or, at the very least, some basic understanding of how this happened. Looking back, I think I just wanted to find a way to ease my extremely troubled mind.

My friend, for editing’s sake we will call her Sarah, sat down with me this past Sunday night. To say it was an eye opening experience would be doing it a disservice. I asked her point blank why women never say anything or come forward. She glared at me for what seemed like hours. ” I was at a bar with a friend once. This guy came up to me from behind, told me I was hot, and then grabbed my vagina. I turned around and smacked him. When questioned by the bar owner as to what took place, I said that this guy I didn’t know had just grabbed my crotch. The guy denied it and my friend and I were kicked out of the bar for causing a disturbance.” I tried to think of something to say, but i had been rendered speechless. “Another time, we had gone out, and this creepy guy followed me into the bathroom. Luckily there were a few women in there, or who knows what would have happened.” She took a deep breath and continued. “When I hear people say Locker Room talk is harmless, I cringe. Maybe if it stayed in the locker room it would be, but it doesn’t. What if my 8 year old daughter sees one of these messages when they pop up? How do I explain that to her? The thing that angers me the most though, is the fact that instead of saying ‘maybe we shouldn’t be doing this to women,’ they tell us to suck it up. Why should I have to be in a constant state of anxiety when I leave the house? Why is it acceptable for a man to grab my ass and then act wounded when I yell at him? These are the same guys that swear they would kill any man that looked at their daughters or wives the wrong way, and yet…” She trails off and looks down for a moment. When she lifts her head, the sight startles me. There is raw emotion in her eyes. They are the eyes of a woman who is tired of being treated like a piece of meat, existing only for the pleasure/disposal of other men. It is at this point that she points to her hair. “I dyed my hair because men don’t hit on brunettes as much as they hit on blondes.” Though I was seated, it felt like I had been gut punched. What does it say about a society that treats women so badly, that they get reduced to dying their hair as a way of escape. “CJ, if you grabbed a guy’s ass in a bar, you’d get your ass kicked. When women respond that way we get the ‘Why are you making such a big deal out of it’ shtick. The double standard is ridiculous.” I sit back for a minute and digest everything I just heard. “Sarah, how can we change this?” She looked at me for a moment and then sighed “Men need to start speaking out against it. Women speak out about it all the time, but we are told to suck it up, that it’s a part of life. When the rare man speaks out about it, people listen. We need to raise our kids to know that this kind of behavior isn’t right or acceptable.” At that moment I decided that I would speak out against it. I inform her of my decision. “Good luck. I hope you’re ready to be labeled a pussy or a male apologist.” Again the weariness creeps back in her eyes. “Do you have any last questions? I’m getting tired.” I ask her what life as a woman is like in today’s society. She sighs before quietly answering, “being a woman in today’s world can be terrifying.”

If this makes me a male apologist, so be it. I’ve seen some truly horrifying things over the last 5 days and it’s time that the real men in this world stand up and let their voices be heard. Our wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters deserve at least that much.


Blind Guardian and the Importance of Music in a World Gone Mad

I woke up this morning with an urge to write after a night of headbanging and singing like a fool at the Blind Guardian show. The only problem, was that music reviews aren’t my thing. Never have been, probably never will be. After a few moments of reflection, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. This wasn’t supposed to be a music review. At least, not in the conventional sense. What happened last night was something that many who love music understand, but don’t generally reflect on outside venue doors. Last night was living proof that people of all races, backgrounds, and religions, can unite under one banner. I guess if I’m going to expand on this, I need to recap the events of the last week here in the States. Not but a few days after some dickhead terrorist tried to plunge New York and New Jersey back into a constant state of fear, and a Somali toolbox stabbed 10 people in a Minnesota mall, a large group of metal heads descended on the Crofoot Ballroom in Pontiac, Michigan. Among their numbers, were white people, black people, Democrats, Republicans, Heathens, Christians, Atheists, Jews, and even a few Muslims. According to the mainstream media, such a gathering in today’s divisive world would have been cause for concern. Instead, all these people gathered for one common purpose: to share the communal experience of a live music show. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But CJ, that happens every single day.” Yes it does, and that’s exactly the reason I’m writing this. We live in a world that is so filled with hatred and division right now, that it seems almost impossible to believe that goodness still lives in the human heart. And yet, here we were in Pontiac, MI, a group of diverse people sharing in the love of a band that has meant so much to all of us. No anger, no hate, no division, and that, in a nutshell, is why music, and indeed the arts in general, is so important today.

Politicians won’t be our saving grace this time. There will be no JFK who comes out and calms tensions with eloquent speeches that speak to the human heart. If we are going to survive this recent onslaught of hatred and negativity, it is going to come from within ourselves, and music has shown that not only is it possible, but that the chances of success are pretty damn high.

My revelation from last night came when Hansi stood in front of all of us and tasked us with the challenge of carrying on the Guardian tradition of singing The Bard’s song. For a little over three minutes, every voice was heard in unison. No anger, no hate, just the love of music. That’s why we will make it through the darkness that has spread over our beautiful planet. We may all have our differences, but we can always find something to unite behind, even if it’s just three minutes of soul baring singing.

Thank you Pontiac (and Blind Guardian) for reminding me that goodness and humanity is still alive.

Taco Trucks and Free Speech for the Dumb

Before I begin, I’d like to apologize for laying this shit at your feet before the coffee has had a chance to kick in. Writing is a lot like incontinence…it doesn’t matter where you are or what time it is, when it’s ready to come out, it’s not waiting for anything. Which is why I am now faced with the hideous prospect of writing about lunatics, taco trucks, and a butt grabbing homeless man before 8am. So last week I was rolling through the tv channels looking for a football game and came across some jabbering yahoo on CNN talking about the nightmarish reality of taco trucks on every corner of America if Hillary Clinton wins the election. At first, I was all on board with the idea. If you’ve ever eaten at a good taco truck, you have a pretty good idea of what food nirvana is like. A few days later, I had a run in with an old friend on Social Media. Suddenly it all came back to me. The year was 2003, I had just survived a year long battle with kidney cancer and was feeling invincible. My buddy Mikey and I were headed to the Dally in the Alley in Detroit where his band Generation Zero was headlining the local stage. Now, Mikey has always had this aversion to people touching him. He tends to shrink away and shriek like a hawk at the offending party which usually leads to hilarious reactions. At any rate, once we hit the downtown area, we decided to stop at a taco truck on Brush St. Mikey was in line ordering when this nutty homeless guy (who had been yelling at parking meters about 25 feet from us) walks over to Mikey, smacks his ass, and says “You’re pretty sexy for a white boy.” Mikey jumped, shrank back, and yelled “DON’T YOU TOUCH ME!” To which the homeless man sneered and responded with “fuck you, get out of my city.” I, of course, started laughing my ass off which was met with great annoyance. At any rate, after reliving this in my head, I came to the realization that while I may think taco trucks on every corner would be amazing, there are people like Mikey out there who will constantly be in mid battle between a growling stomach and the very real fear that somewhere near the truck, some ass smacking homeless man is just waiting to pounce.

Now that I’ve gotten that gibberish out of the way, I can focus my frustration solely on Nationalism. I was hoping that this NFL bullshit would last a week and the short attention span of this country would focus on something else equally ridiculous. Unfortunately, when Colin Kaepernick decided not to stand for the National Anthem during a pre-season football game, the discussion ended up being nowhere near the vicinity of why he actually sat down. Instead, it focused on free speech, nationalism, and conditionary citizenship. Let me preface this by saying that this is NOT aimed at those who disagree with Paperdick or those who want to call him a shithead. This is aimed at the people who think that not standing for the anthem is grounds for execution or the removal of citizenship. There are so many places I could start here. First off, when a pastor comes out and says that anyone who sits for the National Anthem needs to be executed to the cheers of hundreds, its time to take a long hard look at who we are. This country was founded by men who were sick of being told that their loyalty to the crown had to be shown a certain way, that the betterment of England was the only reason for their continued existence. So naturally, Sam Adams and company shot anyone who refused to stand for “God Save the King.” This week, there was a hawkish republican (is there any other kind?) who came out and said that if you dont stand for the anthem, your citizenship should be questioned. Outstanding. So essentially, if you don’t stand for the anthem, you should have your citizenship taken away. I have to wonder if we are the United States of America, or the United States of North Korea. “But CJ….the disrespect!” You know what? If you are more offended by someone not standing for the anthem than you are by all the unholy fuckery our government has unleashed on the world…then perhaps you should step back, take a deep breath, and unfuck yourself. This country has broken every goddamn treaty it has ever brokered with the Natives. Contrary to popular belief, reservations in this country are shitholes. Why would any self respecting native stand for that song? A few years back some neo nazi fuckhead decided to step into a black church and kill 9 people in an attempt to start a race war. So naturally the cops killed him on sight. Ooops, I forgot, they took him to fucking Burger King. Meanwhile in Los Angeles, a hispanic mother and daughter were ambushed and shot at 100 times by cops who had mistaken her for someone else. Surprise surprise, not only were there no charges, but the shithead cops that did it, weren’t even suspended. These days, much has been made of Trump’s statement that Mexico is sending nothing but rapists, drug dealers, and murderers to the US. Why would a hispanic person ever stand for that anthem these days? After World War 2, black vets came home from fighting a bunch of hopped up tyrannical Nazi’s only to be told they couldn’t use the same bathroom as white people. Cassius Clay refused to go to Vietnam because it went against his morals. He was called a nigger and a coward. A few months ago, Leslie Jones was overrun by a bunch of racist assholes who compared her to gorillas, photoshopped pictures of her head on an ape, and a few assholes even went the “fat nigger” route causing her to leave Twitter for a few days. Why? because she was in a remake that people weren’t happy with. Two weeks ago Colin Kaepernick sat down for the anthem and was told to “move to Africa” and called an “uppity nigger”. Why the fuck would anyone in the black community stand for the national anthem? A few months ago, an Orlando nightclub predominantly attended by gays was shot up by a pissed off terrorist. In the days that followed, a bunch of religious leaders and even a few politicians defended the shooting by saying that the bible calls homosexuality a sin. Yes, you read that right, there were Americans that actually defended the actions of a guy who swore loyalty to ISIS.  This of course came after a supreme court decision that allowed gay marriage. Which, of course, was met with instant anger. Fuck the gays, what gives them a right to happiness. “CJ…standing for the anthem is showing respect for the vets and the people who died for your freedoms.” So what does that make Memorial Day and Veterans Day? Here’s what I don’t understand. In 2014 reports showed that Vets who needed medical and mental health services from the VA hospital were basically tossed aside due to extreme negligence on the part of the government. Last week, a vet walked into a VA clinic (for the 9th time) asking for help with his PTSD. When they turned him away again (for the 9th time) he walked back out to his car and killed himself. I have a family friend who spent time in ‘Nam. He’s developed some wicked side effects from Agent Orange. He doesn’t make a lot and the VA doesn’t help out much. Every month he gets a check from the United States Government for…wait for it…$100. So much for respecting the vets. I also find it funny that vets that have come out in support of Kaepernick (“I fought to defend his right to sit”) have been called un-American, or stupid. So apparently respecting vets only happens if they agree with your view point.

I guess my point to this gibbering mess, is that this country is called the Land of the Free for a reason. Im allowed to have opinions that you disagree with and vice versa. That being said, when we start talking about executing or taking away citizenship from people for not standing for a song…we trample on everything that makes this country good. We need to stop going to extremes every single time someone does something we don’t like. It’s not okay to kill a bunch of people because you saw two guys kissing in public. It’s not okay to set a woman on fire because she’s wearing muslim garments. It’s not okay to label all white people as racist assholes because of the actions of their ancestors, and it’s not okay to call someone a nigger because they refuse to stand for a song. Want to be upset by it, go ahead. Call the guy a dickhead or a loser, burn his jersey for all I care. But when he starts getting bombed with tweets calling him a nigger…it validates his very actions.