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Mango Mussolini and The Basket of Snowflakes

November 21, 2016

When I woke up this morning, I was looking forward to getting into work and taking care of business. Well, at least that was the plan until I decided to check my email like a dumb ass. Turns out some of you weren’t exactly happy about me taking shots at the Annoying Orange a few days ago. Now, I don’t mind being called a snowflake. I am not so weak minded that a comparison to frozen water will ruin my day. That being said, when you tell me that “my kind” is responsible for the hatred taking place right now, it leaves me wondering just what the fuck you lace your Wheaties with. I’m going to assume that by “my kind” you mean liberals. This is hilarious for two reasons. 1. I am not a liberal. I am an anarchist. I never had a horse in this election. The only thing I had to lose, was more respect for the American people. 2. I covered the 2008 Presidential Election. This hatred was stoked by Sarah Palin after she was tabbed to be the VP by McCain. Now I understand that some of you have the attention span of a wildebeest, so I am going to remind you what happened in 2008.

The year was 2008, the setting was Jacksonville, Florida. Sarah Palin had recently been tabbed by John McCain to be his VP running mate. Up to this point, the election had been rough but typical. That all changed in Jacksonville. Sarah Palin got up on stage, and flat out said that their opponent Barack Obama was a muslim terrorist. What had been a respectful crowd at the start, had turned into a pack of wolves by the end.  An intern from ( i think it was) The Tennessean and I left the venue afterwards, just in time to see a group of McCain supporters throw a glass bottle at an old man across the street who had an Obama pin on his shirt.  Said Intern and I looked at each other in stunned silence. Up until that point, McCain rallies had been extremely peaceful. Sure, there was the booing and what not whenever Obama’s name was mentioned, but now, after one Sarah Palin rally, we were hearing things like “He needs to be shot for treason” and “Once a Nigger always a nigger.” With one 45 minute speech, Sarah Palin turned the campaign on it’s head. As the days went on, the crowd frenzy kept building until finally John McCain himself had to come out numerous times and tell his supporters that what they were doing was wrong. That was in 2008. It started to rise up again in 2012, but Mitt Romney cut it off before things got to the point they did in ’08. Fast forward to 2016 and Donald Trump comes along, takes that anger, douses it in fucking gasoline, and drops a match on it. So to sit here and blame liberals for this is an act of utter fucking retardation.

My company gets the majority of it’s employees from the University of Michigan student base. I asked my co-worker Greg, what campus was like post election. He informed me that he stopped going to the one class he had on center campus. When I asked why, he told me that it was because people had gone crazy. ” A friend of mine had her hijab ripped off and told to go back to where she came from. It’s funny, because she was born in Michigan.” I asked him if he had reported it to anyone. “And put a bigger target on my back? No thanks. Things are crazy enough as they are.” So, Greg reads his class book, gets notes from friends, and stays far the fuck away from center campus.

When I see incidents like this show up in the news, I see a ton of Trump supporters show up and drop stupid comments like “Aww it looks like the little snowflakes need a safe space.” Ironic considering their savior just called for theaters to be one after his VP got booed. The thing I find funny about this, is that a few months ago, Hillary Clinton came out and said “Half his support base are a basket of deplorables.” Guess who went all snowflake for the next 3 months? See, it’s not that I have a problem with people being called snowflakes, it’s that I have a problem when a bunch of assholes go all hypocritical. Trump supporters cry when they get called racist, they cry when they get called deplorables, they cry when people refer to their candidate as Cheeto Jesus, but let someone say they are afraid because they are faced with racial hostility? Suddenly, it’s “suck it up snowflake.” Trump supporters mirror their spray tanned candidate. They are bullies who don’t quite understand how fucking retarded they look to the rest of the country not too mention the world.

The thing I’ve learned about bullies, is that if you fight back, they show their true colors. You motherfuckers may have been emboldened by this campaign, but it’s going to be people like me that drive you back to whatever deplorable holes you fucking came out of. I’ve spent the last 8 years taking Obama and his supporters to the woodshed. Now it’s your turn, only this time around it’s personal. I will not normalize this, I will not marginalize this, I will not let this orange freak of a man empower the worst this country has to offer. You stood by a racist, a misogynist, and a man who treated his campaign events like it was 1933 Neuremberg, Germany. You do not get to sit back and wash that blood off your hands. You are going to own that shit for the next 4-8 years, and I’ll be around to make sure you do.


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