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Sky Wizard and The Holy Grail of Bullshit

June 7, 2015

There will be no warm intro, greeting, or inquiries about your well being today. In fact, I doubt there will be much in the way of light hearted fancy at all. Why? Because this last week forced me to face a truth that I’ve always denied. That truth, is that there is no hope for us as a species. Sure, our history is filled with singular moments of amazing humanity, but they are far outweighed by the countless acts of cruelty, war, intolerance, and violence that has come to define this species. Normally, a story about some yahoo celeb changing genders wouldn’t register on my radar at all. Way I look at it, everyone deserves a chance to be who they really are. Instead, all I saw throughout social media, was wave after wave of hateful and violent comments. Not surprisingly, said comments came from Evangelical Christians and Catholics. Now normally, I give as much credence to these assholes as I do the shits I take in the morning when I wake up. However, the fact that one of their own was outed as a child molester recently, made these comments so much worse. I hope to the gods that some of you bastards are reading this right now, because all I have to say to you is this: If your religious beliefs consist of treating certain groups of people like 3rd rate citizens because of sexual preference, gender, race, or marital status, then your beliefs suck and so do you. HOW DARE you wave your bible and screech your hatred while in the same breath accusing the country of persecuting you dumb bastards. You think that you are persecuted because people speak out against your bigoted beliefs? You think you are persecuted when Christmas trees and ornaments go up in stores around August? You think your pathetic ass is persecuted when there are more churches in this country than schools? Are you fucking serious? Name the last congressman who was elected as an atheist. Show me the last time a Christmas Tree lighting ceremony wasn’t held in every fucking city around the country. Enlighten me as to when the last time was that at least one city radio station didn’t play Christmas music in December. Show me the grave of the last person beheaded in this country for praying in public. You miserable fucks have no idea what being persecuted is like. I had a friend in college who was gay. One night we went out to a bar to catch up and have a few drinks. He was having relationship problems which we talked through. Unbeknownst to us, some guys at the table behind us had been listening in. When we were paying our bill, they got up, walked outside, and waited for us to exit. As soon as we walked through the door they ambushed us. He got the worst of it for being a “little faggot” but I got kicked around a bit for being a “faggot lover.” I had a black eye and a swollen jaw, he, on the other hand, ended up in the hospital with a few broken ribs and a collapsed lung. He killed himself a few years later after suffering another brutal beating. But hey, he was gay so his life doesn’t matter all that much. I knew of a transgender guy who decided to come out to his family hoping for support. Instead, being the dutiful Evangelicals that they are, they kicked him out of the house and cut him off personally and financially. He ended up homeless and addicted to heroin before being beaten to death in 2004. But hey, transgender ain’t natural, so she got what she deserved. THAT is persecution. THAT is being victimized for your beliefs/way of life. Having your own views behind your doors, and in your churches, and with your friends, is your religious right, but the second you attempt to enter the political arena, you and your shitty beliefs become a true threat to religious freedom.

Now, before you halo ringed assholes start calling me out and saying I’m singling you out, this goes for Muslims and Jews as well. I’ve seen this kind of fundamental bullshit from all sects of the Abrahamic religions. You talk about God and love, you talk about Jesus Christ and love, you talk about He Who Shall Not Be Drawn and Love, and yet, all you do is hate. I wish I had a time machine because I would go back in time, pluck Jesus from the Mount, and place his Middle Eastern looking ass right next to you on an airplane. Let’s see how much you love Christ then. Better yet, let’s take Jesus to a homeless shelter and see how much you support him when he “enables” the homeless by feeding them. Maybe I’ll just get some of my Heathen friends together and ambush you outside a bar. Yell out things like “Christ Lover” and “Filthy Christian” while we break your ribs and collapse your lungs. Maybe we’ll show up at the next public Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony and protest all the “Disgusting filth” celebrating their religious pride in public. Maybe I’ll call for the executions of Christian child molesters while vigorously defending atheist child molesters. Maybe then someone will take you seriously when you yell persecution.

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