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Who Needs Waterboarding When You Have Chris Matthews?

June 27, 2014

“Keep your enemies in front of you.” – Chris Matthews

Ho ho bubba now that’s what I call insightful commentary. Christ, is this what we’ve come to? Have we really fallen this far down the ladder? What’s it say about a country that ranks Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Rachel Maddow, Bill O’Reilly, and Sean Hannity (the Manatee) among it’s greatest political thinkers? People in the “liberty movement” wonder why there is so much division in this country. All you have to do is watch MSNBC for two hours then flip on over to Fox News for two hours. If your right brain hasn’t declared war on your left brain by the time those four hours are up, consider yourself lucky. How did it get this bad? On one side we have Bill O’Reilly who ON A DAILY BASIS revises history (err gets his facts wrong) and on the other we have Chris Matthews who is still feeling that little tingle down his leg he got during Obama’s first Inauguration. What hair brained, toad faced, whale dicked asshole gave these people permission to get on tv and jabber at the American public for hours on end each day? What does it tell you about the American people when these whores are the best we could do? I was never a big fan of Keith Olbermann and his Jupiter sized head, but at least he got out while he still could.

Dick Cheney and his 8,000 heart transplants, have a fondness for the Waterboard. Honestly, he could have tortured those poor bastards legally if he had wanted to. If I was in charge of interrogation over there at Gitmo, I wouldn’t go after the body. Bodies break everyday, but the mind…let’s see one of these yakked up assholes survive a back to back double dose of Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews. You’d be able to hear the screams from the mainland. Better yet, just bring Ann Coulter in and have her open her giant anorexic bazoo for an hour. If her Skeletor-like appearance doesn’t do the job, surely listening to her gibbering bullshit for an hour would get results. As for Bill O’Reilly, a viewer once called in and challenged his “fact finding.” Bill got so angry that he challenged the viewer to a fight saying, “I’m 6’2 I can handle myself!” Right, the only thing Bill O’Reilly can handle is his three inch wang. Although, going by the voicemails he left that chick a few years back, he’s not even good at that.

I guess my long winded point to all this is: Why do we tolerate this shit? Why do we allow people like this to continue digging out the trench of division on a nightly basis? Is it because the American public is really that stupid and gullible? How can anyone with a shred of critical thinking ability side with any of these assholes? Sure, every once in a blue moon they touch on something that matters, and they actually make a good point, but not enough to matter. These buffoons are nothing more than glorified Corporate spokesmen who aren’t getting in front of the camera every night for YOUR benefit, no, its for the benefit of the suit pouring money into their show. Remember Andrew Napolitano? He’s the guy that had a show on Fox News and pissed off Rupert Murdoch so much that he was relegated to 30 second filler segments? Thats what happens when you tell the truth in a corporate world. Unfortunately, that means we are stuck with Big Head Bill, Pointdexter Maddow, Skeletor, The Manatee and Mr. Tingle until they either die/retire, or until the American public decides that they are sick of having their intelligence insulted. Personally, I’m all in favor of bringing Baghdad Bob over and giving him a show. Then again, I’m just an asshole looking to find some form of entertainment in a country full of shit.

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