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Random Hatred

September 25, 2013

When I started the Bastards, I decided I wasn’t going to write anything on days that I couldn’t control my emotions. Consider that hideous decision overturned. You see, when you deal with this kind of shit day in and day out, eventually you are going to reach the boiling point. At that precise moment, you can choose to leave it inside or let it out in a productive manner. Since I have a tendency to go Frost Giant when I keep things inside I’ve decided to get it out. Just understand that this article has absolutely no value from an intellectual standpoint. In fact, the only value it may have is comedic but that’s still up in the air. This article is going to be in list form. Its just going to be me listing the people/events that have caused this boiling point over the last few months along with a sentence or two just ripping into it for the hell of it. I apologize in advance for the lack of substance.

Nancy Pelosi: Where the fuck did she come from and when can we send her back?

John Boehner: Given how limp his personality is, its a good thing his last name isn’t Boner…that would be just a tad embarrassing

Mitch McConnel: Where in the hell did this guy’s chin go? Everytime I see him on TV its like playing Where’s Waldo but with a chin instead of some poor schmuck with bad fashion sense

Rand Paul: Ever hear the phrase the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? In Rand Paul’s case the apple fell about 300 miles away from the tree.

Fundamentalist Politicians: Hard to legislate Morals when you fucking lack them no?

Hilary Clinton: Why in the fuck is she still in the news? She’s like some kind of hideous STD that refuses to go away.

Dick Cheney: His gun malfunctioned this past weekend. Not for nothing, but with his heart condition I’d say his gun has been malfunctioning for the last 20 years.

Government Shutdown: Good shut this motherfucker down! Every six fucking months we go through this circus. End the fucking agony and shut it down.

Michelle Obama: Heres the deal, if you are going to tell other people how they need to eat, your ass better not be the size of Texas.

Barack Obama: We all know he’s just a figurehead. Guess it’s only fitting he’d go through life with someone else’s hand up his ass.

The American People: Ho ho you poor bastards…every morning I wake up with the hope that the day will bring news that you have done something to redeem yourselves and every night I go to bed completely disappointed. Yet I cant completely give up hope on you. When taken individually the human being is the most amazing creature in the Universe. Put them in a group though and suddenly they turn into a bunch of ignorant jackasses. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS!!!

Myself: For writing this

You: For reading it. 🙂

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2 Comments
  1. 5ocal permalink

    Pretty good list, I dont know why Rand Paul, But I am open for discussion.

    • Mainly because Rand Paul toes up with the “Party Line” on certain things that Ron Paul never supported. Maybe he’s just lying in the weeds waiting for 2016.

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