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Learn To Let Go

May 11, 2013

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to meet many, many people. Be they famous, rich, poor, here in the states, or abroad, I am amazed at how much we all still have in common. Through many a drunken gathering, Facebook conversations, and phone calls, one issue that seems to stand apart from the rest, is the concept of letting go of the past. Past mistakes that were made, hurtful actions by loved ones, lost opportunities, the list goes on. We know it isn’t healthy, we know that holding onto what has hurt us does nothing but create a constant flow of regret and bitterness in our everyday actions, causing warped perceptions of living happily. So, if we know that touching a hot stove burns us, painfully, why do we keep touching the damn stove? Something is rewarding that behavior in each us. The memories may give us a feeling of control over the person who hurt you, they may give you an identity, or they give you an escape from the consequences of your actions. Bottom line, destructive behavior is a reward unto itself. I didn’t say a good reward, but negative responses can be equally rewarding as positive ones. It all depends on the root of the behavior. That, is pretty twisted to say the least. There is a solution, although it does take time and effort. It’s called growing up, and dealing with your shit, like the rest of us have to. Look, if your still pissed at your ex from 10 years ago because of the horrible way he, or she, treated you, who has control over you long after the relationship ended? If your still mad at your childhood, what have you done to make sure you do not repeat the same mistakes your parents did? If you can not be in a healthy relationship because of past abuses, what are you doing to ensure that one day you ARE able to? You may not be able to control the actions of others, but you have control over yourself. Start exercising it.  I have friends that have been through some terrible tragedies, and guess what? Through therapy, time, and self ownership, they have come out the other side stronger, smarter, and happy with life. I’ve had to slay more than one inner demon because of my past, but slay I did, with a vengeance. It is my life, and no one has control over me as an adult, including those in my past. What punishment they deserve is out of my hands, and amount of personal suffering will make them pay. End the cycle of guilt and pain. Get help, no it’s not easy, but it’s worth it because in reality, you really are worth it.

Angela The Hunter

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