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The Mommy Contract

February 28, 2013

            I, your mother, do herby swear to strictly adhere to the ideas, principles and rules outlined in this contract. Nothing short of death will stop me from full filling my obligations as your parent. Outlined in this contract will be the things I will do for you as your parent, your mentor and your teacher. Also outlined in this contract will be the things that I will under no circumstances do for you, no matter how much it may hurt me or you at the time. First and foremost you are undoubtedly the greatest achievement of my life, the greatest gift ever given to me, the most precious treasure I have laid my eyes upon. You are a blank slate, you must be taught everything. The scariest and most rewarding task I have ever been given, every day I will be learning right along with you. There is no guide to book, no how-to on how to raise a child bear with me and realize I may not have all the answers but your best interest will always be at the heart of everything I do. I promise to lead by example and practice what I preach.

            I will hold you, feed you and clothe you; from the day you are born there will never be any doubt in your mind at the depth and completeness of my love for you. I will be selfless, never putting my wants ahead of your needs. Although from time to time I may want a nap or drink, just trust me that it as much to your benefit as it is mine. I will teach you to walk; your walk will be proud and strong, because you will know the love and support that helps you hold your head high. I will teach you to talk and help you to find your voice; to know that it is important and you have opinions that matter. You will use this voice to talk back and be defiant towards me, we will argue and I may yell but know that no matter how crazy you will make me I am proud that you are able to stand up for yourself. I will help you to lay the foundation for a lifelong love of learning by reading to you, teaching you the things I know, playing board games and singing songs like ABC’s.

I will never tell you what to think, I will never expect you to share my thoughts and opinions, I will not raise you to be a clone. Instead I will teach you how to think, how to be your own person who has their own thoughts and ideas. We won’t always agree but that does not mean either of us is wrong. Our differences make us unique and are necessary for the world. You will learn to read between the lines, to develop your own opinion and understanding of the truth. You will learn to question authority, even me, and be able to challenge things that you feel are wrong or unjust. You will learn to use this voice to stand up for yourself and others who may not have a voice.

I will teach you the basic ideas and morals of the Bible but it is up to you to find your own faith. The lessons that you will learn from this book are invaluable and are not just about religion but a great guide for life. You will not be forced to believe every word or take it literally but I expect you to take the basic lesson to heart. I will teach you a love and understanding for all people. I will show you that kindness is the greatest gift you can give a stranger. Whatever path you choose should be as loving and accepting as your mother promises are to you. It should help you to feel loved and accepted no matter what your life choices are. Any God, religion or non-religion should never make you feel bad, guilty, scared or inferior, nor should it cause you make others feel that way.

I will show you every day just how unique, beautiful and amazing you are inside and out. I will tell you how cruel other kids and the rest of the world can be. I pray you never encounter this cruelty but you will know that their words, however hurtful, mean nothing. They will try and bring you down, make you cry and feel bad about yourself. I will make sure you know that you don’t have to be brought down to their level of ignorance, that you are better than that. You will be able to stand up to them, look them in the eye and smile, all while feeling sorry for whatever is lacking in their lives that they must take it out on others. You will also be able to stand for other people who are being mistreated and bullied, you will know that no one, no matter what, deserves to be treated that way.

I will help you to grow an imagination and curiosity. You will see the world as it can be, you will see the beauty and potential in everything around you. We will learn stories about small things that have made a big difference, with big dreams that came true. So you will know that anyone, no matter how small they may feel, can achieve anything. You will be encouraged to have role models, people to look up to, who inspire you and inspire you to do great things. I will do my best every day to be one of them. I hope that one day you do something and say to yourself, “I am just like my mom” and smile.

I will let you fail; fall flat on your face, make mistakes and get your heart broken. I will always be there to help you up and brush you off; I will climb the mountains and navigate the obstacles with you. I will give you as much guidance as I can, I will be your shoulder to cry on and the rock you cling to. I will never solve them for you or give you the easy way out; the greatest lessons in life are learned through our failures, we learn our strength and determination that will help you accomplish anything. I will help you to avoid them as much as possible but if you have the determination and stubbornness I am hoping you do, you will not let anyone tell you what to do.

I will protect you as much as I can from the evils of the world, but I will also prepare you to take them head on. I will never sugar coat anything and be straight with you on what awaits you in the “real world”. I will give you knowledge, common sense, a level head and guts. I will pray every day that I have given you enough to not be victimized or taken advantage of. You must know that no matter how prepared you are though that sometimes bad things happen to good people for no reason. You can also take comfort in the fact that no matter how old you are that there is nothing on God’s green earth that will stop me from trying to make it better or from going after those who seek to hurt you.

As you grow older I will not hand things to you; not your first car, cell phone or ipod. You will not be spoiled with material things, instead you will be smothered with love, with parents who are there, who want to talk and share your life with you. You will have dinners around a table with conversation, you will have hours to spend with your parents playing outside, playing games, reading and learning from each other. You will not be given every toy and latest electronic to keep you out of our hair, instead will work for these luxuries because working for things gives you a greater appreciation for them. You will get a job; probably a very horrible job. I will show you how to reach for your dreams, to never give up and one day you will have a great one. I will help you and encourage you to be whoever you want, I only want you to be the best you that you can be and nothing else matters.

You will grow up way too fast for me right before my eyes you will become an adult. You will not be able to wait to get there. I will teach you to drive and send you off to college when it seems like only yesterday I was holding and kissing your tiny little hand the day you were born. I will be sad to see you grow, to see my little one get bigger and more independent, I will feel like I am losing you. I know that in losing my little one, the one who depended on me for everything I will be gaining a friend for the rest of my life. I will be proud too, proud of the person you are and the one I see you growing into. You will countdown the days until you can drive, until you graduate and until you move out. Don’t wish away a single day, life goes by too fast and you cannot get it back once it is gone. Enjoy being a child with all of its bumps, bruises and scars live each moment to the fullest; live, laugh and love every day. Adulthood will come soon enough and I can tell you it goes much faster. Bear with me while we both make this transition, I will be just as confused and frustrated as you. I promise we will get through it together.

I will know everything about you from the things you love and hate to your friends in school and the person you are crushing on. I will know what party you are going to, who was there and what you did. I will know the sites you visit on the internet and what is on your pages. You may see me as overbearing at the time, you may feel I violate your privacy and just want to “ruin your life” and you may even think you hate me then. We will argue about everything as you test your wings and transition to a life of independence. You will test my patience to its absolute limit most times, but somewhere deep, deep, deep down inside I will find I have just a little more. You will teach me just as much as I have to teach you. I hope that you will realize that I do these things because I love you, I am older and have more experience with life and the world. I know what can happen if you are left to roam around with no guidance, no protection and no boundaries. One day I hope that you see all of the things that I am trying to teach you, look back on them fondly and are thankful for them. I also hope that one day you are able to pass these things on to the next generation just as I have done with you.

I love you with all my heart,



P.S.- Please note that everything is subject to change at any time. Something I said or did yesterday may change without warning or explanation today, because I am your mom and I said so 🙂

-Nicole Schmidt

  1. Well said.

  2. kathy burkhardt permalink

    Very good nick,it is all to true.

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