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One Man’s Perspective Of Womens Empowerment

February 20, 2013

NOTE: I realize that writing a piece like this leaves me open to all sorts of various responses, but I feel that it must be written. The Bastards are all about giving you the truth, no matter how ugly that truth might be. I hope that this piece results in some sort of reaction and possibly encourages dialogue, be it in your personal life, on facebook, or on twitter. I also encourage any feedback positive or negative. Thanks in advance.

Before I begin, let me give a small background on the idea for this article. I had a very dear female friend who was one of the most amazing women I have ever met. She believed that if women wanted equal rights, they had to take the good with the bad. That they couldnt pick and choose what suited them. She also believed that women had the ability to empower themselves and take control of their environments. I cant tell you how many times I burned the midnight oil with her discussing the above issues. When she passed on, I moved some of those conversations to the back burner. Today,  I posted an article on Facebook about some nutbag male politician who once again thought he knew more about how to ward off rape than women. It got me thinking about how despite our “enlightened age”, this is still considered a mans world. This made me reflect upon the conversations I had with my female friend. She always told me that there were three things about women that pissed her off. I dont think I fully understood where she was going with those until today. Below you will find her three gripes along with my explanation as to why they are valid.

1. You Cant Hit Me Im a Woman: Up until I started talking to Jude, I was in this line of thinking. However, she had a very valid point. One night she said to me “CJ think about this, women want equal rights, equal pay, and yet they want special treatment when it comes to domestic abuse.” I thought long and hard about that and I have to say, she has a point. If you want equality you cant carve out special rules for yourself. Now, I dont personally condone men hitting women. There have been a few times over the years where I have gotten a good thumping for stepping in a dispute that got physical. HOWEVER, there is nothing in the rulebook that says you cant learn self defense or learn how to fight. This same friend once fell victim to a rapist. After that incident she took self defense, and started boxing. The next time a man put his hands on her, he made it out with a broken nose, a broken wrist, and a pair of extremely sore testicles. There were a few other times where men had tried to get physical with her and they all ended up learning a very painful lesson. The lesson here is that empowerment isnt just mental. Its physical as well. Being able to turn the tables on some asshole dickbag is definitely one way to go about that. There is no rule that says you are immune from being hit because of your gender, but there is also no rule that keeps you from making a dickhead wear his balls for earrings.

*Note Check in your communities, most womens self defense classes are either free or extremely low in cost.

2. Dont Let Bad Role Models Speak For You:  Last year I saw a Womens Rights commercial featuring Kim Kardashian and Rhianna. Really? This is who you have speaking for you? One woman became famous for the number of celebrities she slept with and the other became an activist for abused women only to go back with the guy that abused her. Dont rely on “celebrities” to carry the flag because nobody really takes them seriously. If you are serious about bringing attention to Womens rights and Womens empowerment find a local group to be a part of or start your own. Ive heard women ask why they are constantly being objectified. Well, when you have Kim Kardashian carrying the flag for womens rights, it kind of defeats the message ya know what I mean? Also, community volunteering isnt a bad way to go either. I had a friend who volunteered at a womens shelter. After a few years of talking with the women who had come through there, they had started their own group, and last I heard were quite successful. I guess the bottom line is this: Nobody else can empower you, you have to empower yourself. Use the voice that you were given to pave a new path.

3. Never Compromise Who You Are: I have a friend who aside from being attractive, is also extremely intelligent. She has had a lot of trouble in the dating world because guys seem to be intimidated by her intelligence. Every once in a while we will talk and she will ramble on about how she sometimes wishes she was a “dumb blonde” because she is sick of being alone. My response is always the same: Fuck that. If a guy cant handle the fact that you have more going on than just your chest size, he aint exactly a guy you want to be with. Empowerment starts with embracing who you are. If you have a really high IQ, great, embrace that. This world needs more intelligent people. Never compromise who you are, for someone else. Embrace your strengths, acknowledge your weaknesses, and theres no reason you cant take control of your environment. Stop letting Men determine who you are or arent.

I realize the one question that is going to pop up is “How can you possibly write about womens issues, you are a guy.” This is true. I do not claim to be an expert nor have I experienced firsthand what women deal with day in and day out. However, most of my friends are female. In fact I prefer female friends over male friends. Not because I get some sort of male ego trip out of it, but because the friends I have are intelligent, strong, and not afraid to stand up for whats right. They believe that if you want equality you need to start acting like you’re already equal. In short, this is just my perspective. For all I know I could be dead wrong, its been known to happen.




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One Comment
  1. teri mcintyre permalink

    not dead wrong…….extremely well spoken.Great job putting this to words .

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